Facade
by violet angel007
Summary: A short exposition on the truth behind Fuji's smile


Heya… this is my first prince of tennis fan fiction. And firstly, I have to admit that I am not really good at writing stories cos if you read on, you'll realize that my story line may not flow… but oh well… because of my friend's encouragement (as well as a short escape from all the stress which the school presents), I wrote this fic anyway. Do give constructive comments about this fic. Thank you.

_Disclaimer: I DO NOT own prince of tennis or any of the below characters lest they be created by me… but I did wish I owned Fuji Syusuke… ok, nvm._

**Façade **

"Why didn't you seriously go for the win in that match" an ever so emotionless voice cut harshly through the silent atmosphere that had crept its way between them. Shock flashed past blue cerulean eyes, as if he had been seen through, and he looked up at the other briefly. "Where is the real you?" the emotionless voice asked again.

Sadness and weariness flooded the blue eyes and he directed his gaze to the ground. "Tezuka, it seems like I can't really get into a game. Bringing out the opponent's ability to its limits and enjoying the thrill… that is all, isn't it?" Tezuka gazed with that passive face of his again at Fuji. It was really hard to tell if he was concerned or just confused by what Fuji was saying. "What is it to you?"

"Winning the Nationals, that's all I care about right now." Tezuka responded, saying the only thing that filled his mind at that point in time. Fuji's eyes shut again and he lowered his head in contemplation.

"If this is going to be a trouble, take me out of the regulars." He said, almost whispering. Feeling even sadder than he had been a few minutes ago. That smile was on his face again.

This is Fuji to the world. A happy, cheerful 15 year old boy who always had that smile on his face that would make the ice at the North Pole melt over. He seemed to have not a care in the world. Everything was going his way. He was one of the star players in the Seigaku tennis team, he was acing all his subjects in class, his teachers loved him because he never actually caused them any problems, his fan club of girls just grew larger by the minute, he had a bunch of friends always there to cheer him on. He had everything. To summarize it all, Fuji was one of those guys tons of people wish they were.

But in truth, Fuji was the loneliest boy on earth.

Fuji hid behind a mask his whole life. A mask of false happiness at anything that happened. It is said that the eyes were the gateways to one's soul. That was, after all, the reason why Fuji perpetually kept his eyes ¼ open wherever he went. That smile always pasted on his face, as he gave people around him an atmosphere of happiness, something which he had become numb to.

The day that Yuuta left Seigaku, left the home, left him for St Rudolphs, Fuji realized that the happy part of him had left with Yuuta as well. He spent seconds, hours, days blaming himself for Yuuta leaving. He had been the one to cause Yuuta to feel overshadowed. He had been the one who made Yuuta so angry that Yuuta hated that very the presence of him. He had been the one to chase Yuuta so far away to St Rudolphs and caused him to stay in that hostel. It had all been his fault. And he made sure he suffered for his mistake.

The day Fuji saw Mizuki at the courts, he burned with anger. He silently cursed the guy who managed to steal away his beloved brother from him. He hated Mizuki with a vengeance. He just could not understand how that wretched guy had so expertly gotten Yuuta to trust him, to like him. The day Fuji played a match with Mizuki was the day he vented out all his frustration at him. Every ball was aimed at some part of Mizuki's body. Every ball was hit with so much sheer force that it could send someone to a coma if it hit the head.

"This is for trying to break my brother's arm!" he hit a hard, fast ball again, aiming at Mizuki's face.

"And this is for taking my brother away from me!" he served the ball so fast that Mizuki did not even have time to react.

"This is all for you Yuuta!" he thought again and won his final match point against Mizuki (who wasn't much of a challenge by the way)

After that match, Yuuta smiled at Fuji again. And ever since a very long time, Fuji actually decided that there was something in this world to be happy about.

But Yuuta still insisted on staying with that ass of a guy, and was still ever as close to Mizuki as he was. Their friendship strenghtened, and once again, Fuji felt Yuuta stray further away from him. The same darkness that haunted him for years came back again and Fuji couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness every time he saw his beloved brother with the purple lizard. Still he wanted what was best for Yuuta, if Yuuta like the guy, he'd live with all the pain seeing him with someone who was not him.

He always had Eiji and Tezuka right? His two best friends. One who was always there to cheer him up and the other, someone he could confide in. Fuji treasured his two friends deeply. Sometimes they reminded him of Yuuta. Eiji had always been the cheerful one, bouncing up to him and doing some funny thing that made Fuji's burden feel slightly lighter. That was something that Yuuta always managed to do. Cheer him up. Even his presence alone would cause Fuji to crack this wide, authentic grin that would last for hours.

Tezuka on the other hand, was someone he felt that he could always confide in, maybe because he was serious enough to understand. Although he did not say much, and always appeared cold and heartless, Fuji felt that he was one of the most caring people on earth, always providing a listening ear when Fuji needed it. He never said anything, but Fuji knew that he was listening.

But no matter how wonderful and perfect his friends were, it never managed to fill that hole in his heart which could only be filled with the love of Yuuta. Perhaps few would ever be able to understand why Fuji was so heartbroken and distraught at the partial loss of his brother. But having your closest friend and brother leave you after years of nurturing that friendship and brotherly love was something that would shatter a person's heart.

Being sadistic was nothing more than Fuji's outlet for his sadness and confusion. Maybe it had already become part of his very dark nature. However, no one really bothered since he all his actions did not hurt anyone severely anyway. Drinking Inui's horrible and disgusting drinks had been a way to drown his sorrows, sometimes so deep that he was numb even to the flavour of those vile substances. His strange preference for spicy food such as wasabi and chilli had merely been a way of punishing himself for all the bad deeds he had accused himself of committing.

Sometimes Fuji would just gaze out of the window of his classroom and think about Yuuta. What was he doing? Was he having a good time in school? Did that stupid Mizuki let him use that serve and get him hurt again? Was he eating and sleeping well? When would be the next time he got to play tennis with Yuuta again?

That was the reason why Fuji had bothered to continue playing tennis anyway. To keep in touch with this skill so that he could play with Yuuta again. He had wanted to give it up before, but didn't as he wanted to be the only one to play tennis with Yuuta. At the same time to connect with him. Yuuta was the only one Fuji really wanted to play against. To give his all to the game. That was the one thing which he had never been able to do with the other opponents he faced, no matter how good they were. Even with Tezuka, Fuji felt that he had unconsciously held back a little, although at that point in time, he was almost certain that he had put his whole heart into the game.

Perhaps he just had expectations which were placed too high. Perhaps it was because his self esteem was just all too low. Perhaps, perhaps. But whatever the case maybe, Fuji was still the sad, lonely boy he was, blaming himself for his situation. And still, no matter how he felt, he kept the façade up, the mask on. His smile still remained.

Authors note: Blablabla…. Ok, above was just crappy to me… I just HAD to write on Fuji didn't I… ah wells… review please… I'd appreciate it. yupZ… I'd definitely love you to write constructive feedback for me. Thank you!


End file.
